What If God Was One Of Us?

Every decision I have ever made and every road I have ever traveled has led me to this place in my life, a place where I am supposed to be.

Having said that, there are times of sadness and memories that are hard to think about that cloud my mind at times, memories I wish I could erase, but I cannot.

The sins I have imposed on other souls I have asked God to forgive me and I lay them at His feet. I pray He accepts the forgiveness and I pray I will stand by His side when I see Him on the Other Side. Each step of a spiritual person, I believe, is measured by the good you do, the help you give and the respect you show.

Self-preservation used to be my main goal in life and basically it still is, but I think I spend too much time thinking about my survival that I sometimes forget I live in a world surrounding me that is real, spinning around and around, sometimes out of control, but still spinning around and around.

This has been a hard day for me, missing my babies that have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I don't know why their memories were so prevalent in my head today, but my mind takes random trips without me and brings me to a place where it controls my day. Those memories today went back almost 40 years when I was 31 and they were very fresh and raw, as if they had happened yesterday = the memories I mean.

The images of my babies kept popping up in my mind and wouldn't go away until I was swept away with grief and sadness = the gentle rain on the tin roof of my trailer added to these feelings, I don't know why, but they did and I looked around me and saw everything was in its place, my 8 babies were all accounted for, but I missed all the others I had lost, all of them, not just Baby-Doo, but all of them. And at this moment, sitting here at 12:43 a.m., those feelings have come again and the tears flow freely. I don't fight them, I just let them be, it seems to cleanse my soul, purge my mind of certain thoughts, but very painful when they are flowing.

Toot is my buddy tonight. He is asleep in his clean bed, sound asleep until I lay my glasses down on the computer table. Then he is ready to walk with me into the living room, fighting sleep the whole way. His loyalty and the loyalty and love my other babies give me is beyond measure and they each have a story to tell, all the rescues I accomplished were nothing short of miracles.

Miracles of their rescues made me a believer again, late in life, I knelt before a picture of my God and Lord = it was a puzzle that had been framed and had hung above my sister Marie's bed while she was in the Frenchburg nursing home. When she passed away on July 4th, 2011, I brought the picture home with me. Christmas week, I knelt before that picture and gave my life over to God, and asked Him to help me find Pete, one of my rescues I had been trying to find for 3 days, to no avail. It was snowing and sleeting and very cold outside. I asked for that miracle, that miracle of finding Pete. Two, three days passed and I was frantic with grief and worry, that I would never see Pete again. I went back to the place I had last seen her and I heard her in the distance, a faint sound I recognized as her voice. Out of the woods she ran and I picked her up and saved her life that night, the night before Christmas those several years ago = I have forgotten the year, but I have not forgotten the warmth of her fuzzy little body as she curled up on my chest and I took her to a safe, warm environment.

She greets me in the morning with that same familiar sound, I would recognize it anywhere. Her story is a miracle and God made that happen, no doubt in my mind, He brought her back to me and made me a believer.

What if God is one of us?

What if He was in the room with me that night, kneeling beside me in front of that puzzle picture? What if?

I believe He walks among us, in many forms, keeping measure of our good deeds, our help to other souls in crisis and keeping measure of our respect to each other in a world that keeps spinning and spinning, sometimes out of control.

To Him I give myself and for Pete's rescue and all the decisions I have made and all the roads I have taken, I give those decisions and road choices to Him also = I am where I am supposed to be at this time in my life, not sure of tomorrow, still burdened by grief and sorrow, but knowing He is helping me carry the load.

What if He is one of us?