The Times, They Are A-Changin'

While some people deal with changes with no problem, I do not.

It takes me awhile to adjust to change, especially if it alters the quality of my life and the quality of my life has been altered dramatically. Quality of life, not quantity of life, because I don't know and nobody knows, how and when we will make the journey to the Other Side.

That's one big reason I was let go from my job in 1991, it took me awhile to adjust to some major changes within the department and I made all the wrong decisions at the wrong time = was psychologically pressured to leave the job, couldn't take it any more and I left.

But I can't leave behind what is happening to me now = still in the fight of my life against multiple sclerosis = I know it's not going to kill me anytime soon, but it has taken a toll on my mind and my body. Have become a recluse, with the exception of going to Owingsville to pay my rent and sometimes go to McDonald's to pick up breakfast. But I don't socialize.

I am also fighting a parasitic infection that doesn't seem to go completely away. It will go away for a little while and then come back, not major, but it does come back and ruin the routine of my days. I concentrate on it more than I should but I feel like I've lived in a nightmare with it for the past 3 months. I am going to see an infectious disease specialist in Morehead one day next week. That's why I am a recluse, I don't want people to see the ugly breakouts on my arms and legs and the ugly scars they leave behind. I have been told it is not contagious, because I have taken a lot of vitamins and medicine to keep it at bay. Seems like my immune system is fighting back, but I want it gone completely from my body, I want it gone.

Was just turned down for an editorial spot in a new newspaper, because the owner said my columns were too harsh for his "soft news" newspaper. You know, bland pap news that spoon-feeds the reader. Not my style anyway.

I was going to write about things that are going on around me, you know, like I used to, for the Bulletin and the Outlook, but it's much better this way, because the only person who has access to the content of my blog postings is me and that's the way it should be and that's the way I like it.

I was asked one time by a friend of mine why I didn't write more "upbeat" editorials and I said = "That's not my life, that's not the way I think". Not in my nature to be upbeat, but I have my moments when I do read something funny or see something on TV that strikes me as funny and I laugh by myself, not at myself, but by myself. One of my favorite shows that lifts my spirits is "The Golden Girls" = always makes me laugh or smile real big, anyway.

I was also told, not asked, told that I was too emotional and should try to change that. I said "The more I get involved with a project or a subject, I put all of my emotions in one basket. I'm human. I don't keep my emotions inside. They come out. It is what it is".

I don't know why I was asked that question and I don't know why I was told that = people are curious about me, about my life and I have contributed to that over the years, telling them just about everything about myself, but the general public still doesn't know what makes me "tick" = they think they do, but they don't. They just get bits and pieces and put them together like a jigsaw puzzle and form their opinions. But no one "really" knows me, the real me, except God.

When the same-sex marriage law was passed in Kentucky, people around me thought I had an opinion. Well, everybody has an opinion but I had no desire to participate in a marriage, same-sex or otherwise. Don't want to be bothered with that albatross around my neck any more. Did that for 23 years in a heterosexual marriage and do not want another person in my life who I am responsible for. 

When Caitlyn Jenner made her appearance on the public stage, I was "for" that, but am slowly changing my mind for my own personal reasons.

When Kim Davis started refusing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, I was neither "for" or "against" her decision. I didn't become the poster child for the gay community. I have been asked numerous times to participate in protests and parades to support that community and I have refused, because I think that community's "bad apples" spoil everything for all involved. Bad apples are the ones who always have a hidden agenda, no matter what cause they currently stand behind. They become politically obnoxious, citing reasons why Kim Davis should issue those licenses. There is nothing worse than letting a "political know-it-all" person with an agenda take the microphone and speak, same with religious zealots who do the same thing.

I am spiritual, I am not religious. I believe in God, I believe He walks among us and I believe He is very annoyed at the way the world has changed. He is the only person I have to answer to, in this life and the next.

The Times They Are A-Changin' and creating chaos at every turn.

***

Come gather 'round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You'll be drenched to the bone

If your time to you

Is worth savin'

Then you better start swimmin'

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin'

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'